Yesterday, I felt lost that there is no place on this Earth where I belong.  That I have nothing to offer anyone. That 7 years of school has accumulated nothing.  How is it that I can be a therapist. How arrogant of me to assume that I can help others.I spent yesterday in the shadows. The shadows of who I really am. Am I who my parents say I am? If I am then then I can’t go on. Luise Hays says that in order to go on I must forgive them and all those who made fun of me growing up. I must forgive myself for believing them.School is over, I can no longer hide behind the books of facts. I have to step out. Step out into what? Where do I belong? What was the reason that I went back to school? Remind me of my purpose. I know that I feel sorry for children who are all locked up in their little worlds of confusion, waiting for some one to explain what is going on, someone who will tell them it’s OK and that they are perfect just the way they are.

I turned on the TV and Oprah’s program was about “The Secret”. I did not want to watch it. That works for others, not me. I forced myself to watch it, it was not the first time, I have the DVD and I have “What the Bleep are we Here For” as well.  Yeah, yeah, I have heard it all.

Some thing stirred within me. There is a place for me, I do not know where, but I must keep going. I must forgive and let go of my fears of not being enough.