“I am what I am and I am joyful about it.” (www.abraham-hicks.com)

My internal struggle feels far from over. Metaphorically speaking I am on a slippery, wet mountainside trying to reach the top.  I ask myself repeatedly “how will I shed my feelings of self-doubt”?  What can I do, where can I go to throw off these shackles of insecurity?

Everywhere I look there are books, TV shows, movies, radio shows and web sites about the power of intention and the law of attraction.  Where do I stand in all of this?  Is the power of now for everyone but me?  If I am creating this madness inside and I want it to stop why won’t it stop?  Why can’t I step out and embrace myself?  I feel like I am fighting and alligator, wedged in it’s jaws and unable to break free.

I sit back in my desk chair to meditate, nothing but disconnected thoughts flit through my mind.  Well this is a bunch of crap, I say out loud to my office walls.  I sit up with head in hands and take another sip of my now cold coffee.  What the heck am I to do?  OK, let’s try it again, deep breath, focus on each breath, let all the chatter in my head leave with every exhale.  I am not sure how it happened, but a purple light filled the inner darkness and I felt God’s love.  My eyes fill with tears…thank You.