My husband and I have been married for a year next month.  I am finding that he dose not like me to go anywhere without him.  I am starting to get angry with him about everything these days, I feel like I am going to explode.

Thank you,  Mia

Dear Mia,

The text books say that a healthy couple is defined by their ability to nurture each other independently and as a couple.  It is the constant giving and taking as well as the couple’s ability to flex and adapt to problems and opportunities as they come. 

With that being said what the heck does one do?  You obviously have a great deal of insight, you know already that you are building up resentment and that is why you are becoming angry.  This is a very normal problem that many of us deal with, I am glad you asked. 

We all feel scared when our partners go places without us, we feel deserted. The thing is, we must do it anyway.  I can tell you that it is very difficult to do, but we must love our partners until he/she is better.  No games, no lies, no hidden manipulations or agendas.  This leaves no room for fears to grow.  Instead we will be able to relax and enjoy our own space knowing that all is well and will be well upon our return.

I suggest to every one, don’t wait until the problem gets worse.  There is nothing to be ashamed of, you and your beloved can find a therapist who specializes in Couple Therapy, they are well trained and have a lot of new tricks up their sleeves.  It is like finding a comfortable pair of shoes try a few on before you decide which one to buy.

God bless you on your search for solutions!

In joy, Cleopatra